Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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