Your tits are I can't wait for
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
