Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
