Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
