I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
