Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize