hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
