some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
