threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
