she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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