that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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