I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
