weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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