You can't special order awesome
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
