i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
