I want to stick my p in your. b.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
MIDGETS
????
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
