Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
