Pappa wants mamma naked
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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