...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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