Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
