I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
