I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
