i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
