Cold hands, warm shart.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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