Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
