Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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