fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
