Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
