This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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