oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I want to fling myself into the sun
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize