I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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