fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You've changed since you got that strap on
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
