Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
