Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
