i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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