My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
