My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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