I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
