I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
