Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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