he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
