I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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