No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
