Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
