Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
