I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
