Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
