y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
