so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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