I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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