wakey wakey hands off snakey
he thought i was a dude.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
