he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
