The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
