There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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