I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
