The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
