It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
