I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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