I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
