Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
