No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
